Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Forgive me Blogiverse, for I have neglected thee.

I have to say December has been magical, but not without a casualty - my sleep. I think it's partly because of the pending pandemonium of producing a pretty great time for those I love, and partly because I have been having blogging topics floating in my mind and have no time in which to get these ideas down. It's ridiculous and embarrassing, but it's the truth. And I'm starting to resent you, your royal Bloginess. So here I am, Blogiland, way past my bed time. I promise to fill you in on my brain fodder (for the only reader that probably still checks this blog after a very sparse blogging month - thanks mom) if you'll just let me sleep. It's all I ask. It's really the least you could do, ingrate (I'm talking to the Blogosphere here and not my mom).

So here we go:

Today it snowed. And in Portland that means that people completely lose their minds and become seasonally insane. I'm not judging, because I might too be one to succumb to this seasonal insanity, but I know enough to exercise all methods of prevention, and stay out of my car and off of the roads. I know that I have very little cold weather driving experience (which happens when you grow up in the Palm Springs of Canada) and I know we're all better off with me off the road rather than involuntarily using my car as a weapon. Plus walking in the snow is fun. So, after dinner we got all the gear on (which was surprisingly adequate and even mostly water-proof with the exception of footwear) and went for an old fashioned snow walk to our local market/bakery place a few blocks away. Because what's the use of walking anywhere without the promise of a salted caramel brownie?

As soon as we step out into the weather, I remember that during "Arctic Blast 2008" we learned that Little Man hates the weather. We would stand him up in it, only for him to lift his pudgy arms to me and hunker down in the sling waiting for the cold stuff to magically disappear. He has no tolerance for anything remotely inconvenient weather-wise. He cries when the sun is too bright, he whimpers when the wind is remotely brisk, he balks with an open mouth when it rains. This from the kid that will randomly head butt anything at head-butting height and giggle about it. He's a true study of contrasts. He's a weather wimp. That might sound unfeeling and harsh coming from his mother, but better from me than in middle school in a taunting circle of 8th graders. Don't say I never equipped my kids of the real world.

So our walk was mostly him begging to be held, then begging to be put down and not moving a muscle for a couple minutes, and begging to be held again. Which was most disappointing to me because I have had a secret dream of strapping him to a baby-leash and harnessing it to a sled and just letting him run me to the bakery for the aforementioned brownie. This might also sound unfeeling and a little bit bizarre, but I come from a very decent and good place here. He has energy to burn and Mama needs a brownie. Win/Win. Better yet, it's zero emissions. We could even call it "going green."

You're welcome.

But with this weather wimpyness I have to explore other avenues, while continuing to avoid Social Services. So stay tuned.

There. You happy, your Highness (I'm talking to the BlogHead here)? I blogged. I trust you will let me go to sleep and dream of brownies and snow storms.

Good night.
Arctic Blast 2008 - The beginnings of the end of my toddler sleigh dreams.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Merry Christmas and Happy Deductible!!

Isn't this time of year amazing? Not only because of the sentiment of the season and the "good will towards all wo/men," or the great tv specials or tear inducing commercials (State Farm why do you do that to me!?), but the rush and bustle of getting entirely ready for the big show is stressful, yet adrenalizing (imagine my disappointment when I realized that I didn't make up that word adrenalizing. A serious let-down because I love making up words, and I REALLY love taking credit for them).

But this time of year also has another level of activity and planning because I feel like this is the time of year for optimizing my health insurance and taking care of all the little nagging health items that quietly fester on my psyche. As you may not know, I worked in medical billing industry for several years before finding my calling in legal assisting (kidding) and know my way around an explanation of benefits pretty well (and for any of you wondering: medical billing is as glamorous as it sounds, I have the insurance knowledge and 10-key finger muscles to prove it). And as the calendar year winds down, I'm always in a mad rush to get those last items (wisdom tooth extractions, pregnancies, etc.) done before the calendar year ends so I can use up all my available benefits and so that my up-coming year's benefits can be dedicated to new problems and not old ones. I know I probably sound maniacal, but it's just how I am now. Medical billing did this to me. The irony here is that I am Canadian and was raised in a universal health care system where you didn't usually WANT to go into early labor so that your baby could be paid for under your previously met out-of-pocket max that had already cleaned out your bank account (FYI: babies with January birthday cost their parents lots of money. Case in point: Little Man, Jan. 10th. Took 17 months after driving him off the lot before that baby was officially ours and not owned by the hospital. Some days though I wondered what would happen if I was late a payment and what kind of repo-person they would send for him. I told you, I'm maniacal). Not to get political, but I am Canadian and turned out just fine under universal health care. I think.

So on top of decorating, crafting (I don't love the term crafting because it makes me feel like a granny crocheting an afghan, and not a young, mature 30-something crocheting a THROW BLANKET worthy of a pottery barn catalogue cover. But my legal counsel and I have been so busy we haven't had a chance to make up a word that suits me better, so we'll just stick to "crafting"), baking, cooking, wrapping, Santa-ing, and delivering - I'm also dentisting*, annual examing, and benefit crunching my way through December. Nothing better than the smell of freshly decorated sugar cookies and topical Novocain to get me in the holiday spirit.

So, if I seem a little absent in the blogging world this month, I am. But for very worthy reasons. Because the gifts won't buy themselves. The cookies won't bake themselves. These gums won't graft themselves. Wish me luck!!

*Pending legal counsel, the word "dentisting" is my property and I would appreciate a little credit if you chose to use this chawsome** word. A check for $1,000 per use will probably cover it.

**Same with "chawsome."